Broken
by ijustkeepswimming
Summary: Set outside of the Charlie/Joey storyline... Charlie is out and proud and meets newcomer Joey who is far more complicated than she anticipates
1. Chapter 1

_I thought I'd try and new kind of fanfic, taking Charlie and Joey out of their storyline and allowing them to meet in a different situation... Reviews to let me know if this works or not would be greatly appreciated!_

**Chapter One**

Charlie pushed herself hard as she ran across the sand. It felt so good to have the wind in her hair and the sun on her face. Nothing started a day like exercise. And nothing made that exercise better than the eye candy she'd been spying for the last five mornings. Her fellow jogger was a beautiful woman with long dark hair and a thoughtful expression on her face. She had a beautiful figure and the most fascinating eyes. She always wore baggy shorts, as if she wanted to hide herself for some reason, although Charlie did appreciate the tighter sports vests she put on. It had become somewhat a thrill for Charlie to jog past her every morning and she hoped that was the girl's long-term routine. Charlie smiled to herself as she kicked up the sand beneath her feet and the smile stayed when she looked up and spotted the woman she'd become so fascinated with, approaching. Her stomach gave an excited flip as the dark haired beauty made eye contact and smiled. Charlie's smile got wider and she couldn't resist turning her head to look back at her as she ran on. Without focussing on where she was going, it only took Charlie a couple of seconds to stumble and tumble onto the sand. She attempted to recline and look as if she meant to throw herself in a heap on the floor. Still looking at the mysterious jogger, she was both embarrassed and excited to find that she had stopped to catch her breath and was facing her, still smiling. Encouraged, Charlie got to her feet and walked over to her, careful to make sure she didn't trip and make a fool of herself.

"Hi there," she called when she was close enough for the girl to hear her.

"Hi," the jogger responded, smiling warmly and giving a little wave.

"I just thought, having run past you for the last few days, it'd be polite to actually meet you," Charlie ventured, feeling abnormally shy.

"Well, I'm Joey," the other woman said, extending her hand. "Please to meet you."

Joey felt nervous at meeting the woman she'd been admiring for the past five days. She was overwhelmingly beautiful with long brown hair that she'd tied back loosely, so as not to get in the way of her run. She was very fit and lean with a cleavage to be admired. And Joey couldn't help but admire it, although she hoped she wasn't being too obvious. Her face was perfect, with bright eyes and a smile that made Joey feel like she was special somehow.

"Charlie," she responded, shaking her hand and feeling a welcome tingle at the contact.

Joey was even more beautiful up close. She couldn't seem to tear her eyes away.

"Are you new around here?" she asked.

"I've been here a few months," Joey said. "I'm still finding my feet."

Charlie nodded.

"Well, I know a wonderful Diner where you can get an amazing breakfast," Charlie said, hoping she sounded casual enough.

"Oh really?" Joey said. "I haven't ventured to many places yet."

She looked a little shy and embarrassed, looking down at her feet and kicking the sand a little. She was perplexed that somebody had even noticed her in the first place, let alone someone as beautiful as this.

"Would you like to go for breakfast with me now?" Charlie asked.

Her heart was pounding a little too fast and she didn't think it had anything to do with her run. Joey hesitated for a moment and then nodded decisively.

"That sounds good to me," she said.

* * *

Settled at the Diner, facing each other across the table, Joey attempted to relax. It was distracting to be spending time with someone this beautiful and especially when she had the distinct feeling that they shouldn't be hanging out. Shaking the thought away, she focussed on what Charlie was saying while they waited for their food to be served.

"So, what do you do, Joey?" she asked.

Joey blanched and shifted uncomfortably.

"I, uh… I'm not doing much at the moment," she admitted.

"Still finding your feet," Charlie remembered.

Joey smiled with relief at the other woman's understanding.

"And what do you do, Charlie?" Joey asked.

"I'm a police officer," she said.

"Wow! Impressive!"

Charlie chuckled, pleased with Joey's enthusiasm. A lot of people ran a mile and she was pleased that Joey wasn't one of them. If Charlie had her way, they'd be seeing each other again.

"It's okay," she said modestly. "Challenging. And it pays the rent. It makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile."

"I'd love to do something that I'm passionate about," Joey said thoughtfully.

They looked up as Leah approached with their meals.

"Thanks, Leah," Charlie said warmly.

"No problem."

"Oh, this is Joey, by the way. Joey this is my housemate, Leah."

"Hi," Joey said quietly, doing the cute little wave that she'd done on the beach before.

"Nice to meet you," Leah said. "I'd best get on, I'm afraid."

"So, what are you passionate about?" Charlie asked, tucking into her food once Leah had departed.

"Excuse me?" Joey asked, caught off guard.

"You were saying that you'd love to do something you cared about," Charlie explained with a grin.

"Oh!" Joey laughed. "Well, my first love is boats."

"Boats?"

"Yeah. I love being out on the water, sailing. It makes me feel so free and alive."

"Well, you're in the right town for that kind of thing," Charlie nodded. "There are a few people I could put you in touch with here if you wanted to pursue it career-wise."

"Oh, yeah, maybe. Thank you," Joey said.

She didn't want to get too enthusiastic about it. She knew she couldn't work right now, as much as she wanted to. It wasn't the right time or situation and it hadn't been for a while but she wasn't prepared to let Charlie know that.

"So, what else do you like to do when you're not boating?" Charlie asked.

Joey's mind drew a blank.

"I like art," she said evenly. "I paint and sketch and stuff."

"Very creative," Charlie smiled.

Joey shrugged.

"I enjoy it. But I'm not really very good."

"I get the impression you're underestimating yourself."

Flushed at the compliment, Joey attempted to change the subject.

"So, what do you do when you're not playing the big, bad cop?" she grinned.

Charlie giggled.

"I mostly spend my time looking out for my little sister," she admitted. "I'm pretty much her guardian so she keeps me pretty busy."

"How old is she?"

"She's sixteen, sarcastic, wonderfully outspoken and utterly hilarious!"

"She sounds pretty fun," Joey grinned.

She sipped her drink but never took her eyes away from Charlie. _Being fun must run in the family_, she thought to herself. She hadn't enjoyed herself so much for a long time. It was strange how a simple breakfast could make her feel so happy.

"So, do you have family here?"

Joey frowned.

"No, I um… well, my mum died when I was younger, my dad… he's… away right now and my brother and I don't speak. He has problems accepting… my sexuality."

She looked down, hoping that outing herself and revealing her family problems, wouldn't make Charlie run a mile.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry," Charlie apologised.

Joey shook her head and assured her that it was fine. Charlie looked relieved.

"And so, just to be really blunt about it – by sexuality you mean gay, bi, somewhere in between?"

Joey laughed at the cheeky grin on the other woman's face.

"I'm gay," she said, noticing that it was the most amused way she'd ever said it.

Charlie nodded and sipped her drink.

"Me too," she said confidently.

Joey couldn't stop gazing at her beautiful face.

"So, do you have someone special?" Charlie asked.

She hoped that her tone didn't reveal that she desperately wanted the answer to be 'no'. There was something so captivating about Joey and she was desperate to get to know her better, although she thought the idea of someone being that hot and that cute and still single, was minimal.

"Well, um…" Joey said, stumbling over the words.

It was the question she'd been dreading. She didn't want to have to admit that she had a partner of five years. Sitting in the Diner with Charlie created an illusion that could take her away from her life. She didn't want reality to hit.

"Yes, she does," said a cold, bold voice. "Me."

Reality hit and Joey's heart sank. She looked up to find her girlfriend, Roxy towering over them. Charlie looked startled and a little disappointed. Roxy turned to Joey, her beautiful, brown eyes, harsh and demanding.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I was… we were… just having breakfast," Joey said quietly.

She couldn't bear for Roxy to make a scene but if she did, it wouldn't be the first or the last time.

"I expected you home half an hour ago."

Charlie noticed the fright on Joey's face and felt the need to step in.

"Sorry," she said. "It's my fault. I convinced her to get something to eat."

"Stay out of this!" Roxy snapped.

Charlie frowned and Joey looked offended on Charlie's behalf.

"I lost track of time," Joey tried.

"Well we're going home," Roxy ordered. "Now."

She grabbed Joey's arm and pulled her roughly from her seat. Charlie's eyes widened at the aggression in her movements.

"Wait. She's hasn't finished her meal yet," she protested.

"Do I look like I give a damn?" Roxy asked.

And with that she pushed Joey towards the door. Joey turned her head to mouth an apology and then they left. Charlie just stared in silence at the empty door they'd just passed through.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Charlie sat at her desk, puzzling over the altercation she had witnessed at the Diner. Joey had looked terrified when the girlfriend had shown up and with the rough treatment she'd received, she wasn't surprised. The dark haired girl had been almost brutal with her. She'd charged in, broken up their breakfast and hauled Joey away as if she'd been doing something wrong. Charlie might have wanted to do plenty of things wrong but breakfast was innocent enough, wasn't it? She sighed, wondering why on earth someone as amazing as Joey was dating a bulldozer, and fretting that she'd never get the chance to see her again.

* * *

Joey focussed hard on the dishes, feeling ashamed of herself and horribly embarrassed about what Charlie must be thinking about her now. She smiled at the image of Charlie running across the beach. Then she felt guilty again. She was in a committed, albeit, largely unhappy relationship and yet here she was, lusting after some girl. In her defence, she doubted anyone would be able to clap eyes on Charlie without lusting. She was incredible. Sighing, she stacked the last dish on the side. She turned a little too quickly and winced at the pain in her side. Lifting the bottom of her shirt slightly, she glared at the dirty bruise that was starting to form. She opted not to vacuum as planned and started dusting instead.

* * *

Against her better judgement, Joey was out jogging again the next morning. The pain in her side was excruciating, forcing her to stay slow. She knew she was probably making her body worse by going out but stubbornness and a desire to bump into Charlie again overruled her. She smiled when she spotted a familiar figure not too far away. When they got close, Joey stopped, trying not to wince, and smiled shyly, hoping that Charlie wouldn't just run past her. She didn't. She stopped, caught her breath and greeted Joey warmly.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine. I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"Oh, it's fine," Charlie assured her. "Just as long as you're alright."

Joey nodded.

"Just embarrassed."

"Oh, don't be. Really."

Joey smiled, feeling relieved.

"So um… dare I ask you to breakfast again?"

Images of Roxy bursting in on them like yesterday rushed through Joey's brain. She desperately wanted to go with Charlie but knowing Roxy as she did, the chances of her coming by to catch her out, were high. Even though she was at work, she'd find a way to sneak out.

"Um…"

Charlie hung her head, figuring that Joey didn't want to see her.

"It's okay. If you don't want to, I understand."

Joey looked at Charlie and then away, feeling torn. She turned back.

"It's not that. I do want to. It's just…"

She didn't know how to explain that she was afraid of a repeat performance. Fortunately, she didn't have to.

"I could get us some take away to eat on the beach, away from prying eyes," she suggested.

Joey smiled, surprised by how well Charlie already seemed to be able to read her. She hoped she didn't get too good at it. There was a lot of stuff she didn't want her to know. She nodded.

"That would be great."

"Wait here," Charlie said. "I'll be back."

* * *

On her way to and from the Diner, Charlie pondered Joey's unease. She seemed to actually be frightened of her own girlfriend. It didn't make any sense. Looking up, she spotted Joey sitting anxiously on the sand. Picking up her pace, she headed over and sat down beside her.

"Breakfast for the lady," she said, hanging a box over to her.

Joey grinned.

"Thank you. Do you want some cash?"

Charlie shook her head and opened her own container.

"You must think I'm crazy, asking you to hide out here with me," Joey ventured.

"I believe I offered actually."

Joey nodded and tried to focus on her food instead of Charlie's captivating smile.

"Forgive me again for being so blunt but what the hell are you doing with her when you seem so unhappy?"

Joey just stared at her.

"I did apologise before I said that!" Charlie giggled.

"You did," Joey agreed.

"Well?"

"I'm not really unhappy," Joey lied.

"Uh huh," Charlie replied, unconvinced.

"And Roxy really isn't like that all the time. She's just a bit…"

"Angry? Controlling?" Charlie suggested, hoping she wasn't overstepping the boundaries.

"Possessive. She doesn't like the idea of me spending time with other women," Joey explained.

"Well, maybe she has a point," Charlie conceded. "If I was dating someone as beautiful as you, I'd probably be paranoid about someone stealing you away."

Joey didn't quite no how to respond. The fact that Charlie had just referred to her as beautiful was enough to set her soul on fire. She gazed into Charlie's eyes, not sure what to say.

"Sorry," Charlie said, looking down. "That was wildly inappropriate."

"No, no, it was a nice thing to say. Thank you," Joey replied, not wanting her to take the compliment back.

Charlie shrugged and smiled, pleased that she hadn't upset her.

"So, is there someone special in _your_ life?" Joey asked.

She couldn't help but hope Charlie answered negatively, although she supposed it didn't make much difference. She couldn't do anything about it. She wasn't a cheat, except perhaps in her head. And that was only a recent development. She'd been faithful for five years; faithful and obedient.

"No, I'm still young, free and single," Charlie admitted.

She looked out at the horizon, trying not to feel devastated that the person she'd started to fall for far too quickly was with someone else. And it looked like it was someone who didn't deserve her.

"Lucky you," Joey said without thinking.

Charlie looked back at her with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't mean that," Joey lied.

Charlie smiled.

"So, do you need to rush back?" she asked.

"Roxy's at work so I've got more time today," Joey replied.

"Excellent!" Charlie enthused.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Joey was idly sketching in the rare tranquillity of home. Roxy had been around all day and given her some hassle about going for a run. She'd happily bumped into Charlie, which made it worth the stress. They'd chatted, although with Roxy waiting for her at home, they couldn't spend as much time together as they normally did these days. They had exchanged numbers though and Joey was pleased to not have to rely on morning exercise and chance to see her. Now, she could call whenever she wanted. She knew she probably wouldn't call but it was nice to know that she could. Her feelings were making her feel guilty and she knew she was behaving strangely with Roxy, who, aside from objecting to her run, had been friendly, affectionate and positive all day. It felt nice, what a relationship ought to be. These days, those moments felt few and far between. But rather than feeling completely elated, it only compounded her own guilt. Here Roxy was, being so nice and trying to make up for her constant rows and anger, and there Joey was, wondering what Charlie was doing and how she was and perhaps what she was wearing. She hadn't felt like this about anyone other than Roxy and that had been a long time ago. Those feelings had changed into something that she couldn't quite fathom. Her phone beeped, startling her a little. Picking it up, she smiled involuntarily when she saw that she had a text message from Charlie, inviting her round for dinner and DVD's. Turning the phone over in her hands several times, pondering what to do. She desperately wanted to go. The thought of spending a whole evening with Charlie felt like too good an opportunity to miss. Roxy, a security guard, just outside the Bay, was on a night shift so she wouldn't miss her. But did the thrill of the idea of spending time with Charlie count as being unfaithful? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to be the kind of person who did that kind of thing. She was only too aware of how much it hurt. But then, what was the harm in having a friendship with somebody? She had been feeling pretty lonely since Roxy had convinced her to move away from all their friends, the friends who objected to their relationship. Perhaps it would be nice to be friends with Charlie. It didn't have to mean there was any more than that going on. For starters, Charlie was out of her league so that chances that she might be into Joey was minimal. Although, she had called her beautiful the other day. Shaking her head, Joey decided that there was nothing wrong with dinner and a movie with a friend. She texted back to ask what time Charlie wanted her.

***

Charlie tried to ignore the fact that she had made an effort to get ready and look nice for when Joey arrived. She hadn't been sure if it was a good idea to invite Joey round or if she would even accept the invitation but she was happy that it was happening. She'd cooked pasta, bought a couple of bottles of wine and rented _Imagine Me & You_, a film that Joey had mentioned wanting to watch. She turned away from the stove when she heard a gentle knock on the back door. She smiled when she saw oey hovering nervously.

"Hi!" she greeted.

"Hi," Joey replied. "I um… wasn't sure what to bring so…"

She waved a covered bowl.

"Apple crumble."

"Oh, you didn't need to do that," Charlie said, accepting it from her. "Thank you."

"You haven't tasted it yet," Joey grinned, venturing into the kitchen. "I'm no chef."

"I'm sure it'll be lovely. Come and sit down," she said, pulling out a chair. "Wine?"

"Oh, yeah, great, thanks," Joey said, taking a seat.

She watched Charlie work her way around the kitchen. She poured out a glass of wine for each of them and then started serving. Charlie was in a figure hugging, black dress that gave Joey a chance to gaze at her long, slender legs and then travel upwards. She blushed when Charlie turned around and fretted that she may have been caught ogling. Charlie set a plate down in front of her.

"This looks lovely," Joey said appreciatively. "Thanks for inviting me over."

"No problem," Charlie replied. "It's nice to spend some time with you."

"Well, here's to friendship then," Joey said, lifting her wine glass and sharing a toast with Charlie.

***

"It's been a long time since someone cooked for me," Joey said, having finished her final mouthful.

Dinner had been wonderful and the company had been exquisite. Joey had nearly choked on her wine from laughing so hard. She felt relaxed for the first time in a long time. The house was warm and inviting and Charlie seemed to hang on her every word, as if she really was that interesting. She wasn't used to it but she enjoyed it a lot.

"Really?" Charlie said.

"Yeah, I'm the housewife so I do all the cooking and cleaning. I guess it's fair though. I'm not working and Roxy is," Joey explained.

She opted to leave out the part where her giving up work had been Roxy's idea.

"Yeah. I'm sure it'd be nice to get the odd meal though," Charlie said. "You'll always welcome over here for that if you'd like."

"Thanks. That's so nice of you."

Joey could see herself desiring to spend as much time as possible with Charlie. The idea was extremely tempting. Charlie's company was intoxicating and addictive. She made Joey feel good about herself. She made her laugh and blush with compliments.

"Shall we take your apple crumble in to eat while we watch the movie?" Charlie suggested.

***

Charlie felt nervous and was extremely aware that she and Joey were sitting practically thigh to thigh. They'd eaten a delicious apple crumble, despite Joey's insistence that her cooking skills were limited. Now, sitting back on the couch, they were both enjoying the film. It was very sweet and very funny, with two very attractive women as the main stars. She watched Joey out of the corner of her eye. She was smiling at a funny bit of the film and her hand was resting on her jeans. Charlie cast a glance over her lips which were full, nicely-shaped and extremely tempting. She worked hard to resist the urge to lean over and kiss her. It would be immoral to try and steal her away from her long-term partner. Even if that partner didn't seem to treat Joey like she deserved. Chewing her lip, Charlie found that her hands were developing a life of their own. Before she could stop herself her right hand had crept across and taken Joey's hand in hers. Surprised but not unhappy, Joey let it happen. She focussed on their fingers as Charlie gently ran her thumb across Joey's palm. The soft action felt good. It felt strangely intimate. Joey allowed her fingers to move also, silently caressing Charlie's hand. She glanced up at Charlie, who was looking at her, as if fascinated. She felt worried about the reaction the contact was having on her. Joey wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss Charlie. It felt like the right thing to do but she knew it was wrong. Seeing Joey's troubled expression, Charlie forced herself to pull away. But Joey's other hand shot out and held her wrist, silently asking her to stay.

***

They kept contact for a while, watching the television screen. Joey didn't think she'd ever shared such an electrically charged moment before. Just the touch of Charlie's hand was enough to send her into fantasy land, wondering how amazing it would be to develop things. She internally chastised herself. Roxy would be furious if she knew what she was up to. She shifted her position slightly and felt a twinge in her side. She hadn't healed as quickly as she'd hoped, although she supposed she hadn't really taken proper care of herself. The twinge suddenly reminded herself of the bad times and most of her guilt evaporated. She looked down at her hand, entwined with Charlie's, their fingers still tenderly exploring each other's skin. Joey leant across and snuggled into Charlie's shoulder. Charlie smiled, let go of Joey's hand and reached her arm around her to keep her close. She replaced her right hand with her left and continued their touch.

***

The film ended and both women enjoyed it, although the irony of watching a film about an affair, with Charlie of all people, was not lost on Joey. She had remained in Charlie's arms and she didn't think she'd ever get bored of the way Charlie was caressing her hand. Noting the time and the fact that she only had an hour until Roxy was due home, Joey reluctantly began to make her apologies. Charlie looked disappointed and let go of Joey's hand. They stood up and headed towards the back door.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," Joey said shyly, lingering in the doorway.

"I really enjoyed myself too."

"Well, goodnight, I guess."

She didn't want to leave now.

"Night, Joey," Charlie said.

She leant anxiously across and kissed Joey's cheek. She lingered for a moment too long, pulled back and blushed. Joey swallowed and reached out to kiss Charlie's cheek in return. Their hands found each other again and they locked eyes.

"Do you um… want me to drive you home?" Charlie suddenly suggested, not ready to lose Joey's company.

"Oh, yeah, that would be great, as long as you don't mind."

"Not at all," Charlie said, grabbing her keys in one hand and Joey's hand in her other.

***

Charlie pulled up outside Joey's house. She looked across at her friend and smiled.

"See you soon," Joey said, still not wanting to leave.

Charlie reached across to hug her. After several moments, they pulled away, calling their goodbyes. Charlie watched Joey, ensuring she got to her door safely and then drove back home.


	4. Chapter 4

_I really wasn't sure about this story but all your wonderful reviews have really encouraged me to continue. Thank you so much. I truly am grateful for your support for this one – and all the others!_

**Chapter Four**

Joey tucked herself into bed the minute she got home. Snuggled under the duvet she let images of Charlie dance beneath her eyelids. She could still feel her hands and her lips against her cheek. She flinched when she heard the door open and silently watched Roxy's figure flick on the light. She had no concept of Joey being asleep. She always turned the light on, no matter what time it was.

"Are you awake?" Roxy asked.

Joey watched her strip off and resisted the urge to pretend she was still asleep.

"Yeah," she said.

"What did you get up to tonight?"

Joey panicked for a brief moment that Roxy knew where she had been.

"I just watched a movie," Joey replied meekly.

"What did you watch?"

She slipped into bed and reached out for Joey.

"Oh, I forget the name of it. It was just on TV," Joey lied, accepting Roxy's embrace and feeling guilty for her deceit.

Roxy flicked off the light and Joey was grateful to be allowed to sleep. Before she knew what was happening, Roxy had slipped her hands under Joey's pyjama top and pressed her lips against hers. Joey kissed her back and let her touch; unhappily aware that Roxy's hands seemed to be counteracting the lingering memory of Charlie's. She didn't want Roxy tonight. But then, she rarely got a choice about these things. When Roxy wanted something, she got it, especially from Joey.

"I missed you," Roxy whispered into the darkness, pulling Joey on top of her.

Joey avoided replying by kissing Roxy back harder and beginning to make all the moves that she knew her girlfriend wanted.

* * *

"So, how did your date go last night?" Ruby asked, entering the kitchen where Charlie was cleaning up from the night before.

"It wasn't a date," Charlie said, turning round.

Ruby opened the fridge in search of orange juice.

"Yeah, right!" she commented.

She sat down in a kitchen chair and Charlie came to join her.

"It wasn't," Charlie insisted.

"Mmm hmm," Ruby replied, pouring juice into a glass. "You invite a hot girl that you haven't shut up about since you met her, round for dinner and a movie and it's not a date."

"I wish it had been a date," Charlie admitted.

"So why wasn't it?" Ruby asked. "Spill."

Charlie sighed heavily.

"She seems like she likes me but…"

"But?"

"She's got a girlfriend."

Ruby sucked in a breath and winced.

"Don't go there, Charles," she warned.

"I know," Charlie sighed. "I know. I just can't help myself. She's so amazing, Ruby. She…"

Ruby cut her off.

"She's beautiful, gentle and a complete sweetheart. You've told me. Several times."

Charlie blushed and bowed her head.

"You've got it bad," Ruby commented, getting to her feet. "I've got to get to school. Be good, if you can manage it!"

* * *

Joey was disappointed when Roxy kicked up such a fuss about her run that she had to cancel. It meant not seeing Charlie. And she really, really wanted to see Charlie. Frowning, she continued organising breakfast for herself and Roxy.

"What's up with you?" Roxy asked.

"Sorry?"

"You've been in a strange mood all week."

"Have I?"

Joey set a bacon sandwich down in front of her and then seated herself beside her to tuck into her own food.

"Yeah. You've been distracted."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Roxy's random bouts of kindness always caught Joey off guard. Sitting there, she seemed genuinely concerned. Joey suddenly felt even worse about the fact that while they were together last night, all she had been able to imagine was Charlie.

"Yeah," Joey said. "Sorry."

"Well, just in case, we're going out for the day. We can spend some proper time together. How about that?"

"That'd be great," Joey said, touched that Roxy seemed to care so much.

* * *

The day had been nice, aside from a small disagreement about Joey not getting all of the laundry done the day before. Roxy had begun to launch into a tantrum about Joey being useless and then caught herself, suddenly remembering to play nicely. She'd driven her out into town for a long lunch. Roxy had been talkative, attentive and affectionate. They'd held hands, kissed and giggled together. It felt good to be with her again, for them to remind themselves that despite all the difficulties they had, they could be happy together.

"I've had a really great day," Joey said happily, as she and Roxy sat in a bar together before they headed home.

She looked around when she realised that Roxy was staring at a point past her shoulder. Behind her, she noticed an attractive redhead at the bar. Joey frowned, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"I'll just be a minute," Roxy said, getting to her feet.

* * *

Ruby arrived home just as Charlie was getting ready to head out.

"Another non-date?" she enquired, slinging her bag on the sofa and flopping down beside it.

"No," Charlie said unhappily.

She hadn't seen Joey all day. They hadn't met like usual when they were out running and she hadn't heard a thing from her since last night. She'd resisted being clingy and contacting her but hoped they would find each other on the beach the following morning.

"I'm just going to Surf Club for a bit. Want to join me?"

"I've literally just got back from there. But have fun. I hope you bump into your secret hottie!"

* * *

Joey sat in the back of the car on the way home feeling utterly miserable and wondering if this was karma. Roxy had picked up the redhead, Estelle and opted to take her home. It wasn't a new thing. Roxy went off with other women all the time and she never made a secret of it. Joey still hadn't figured out whether she'd prefer to be oblivious or not.

"Drop me off here," she said when they drove past the Surf Club.

She did not want to be home for the night tonight. Crawling in at stupid o'clock while they were probably still going at it, hopefully behind a closed door would be bad enough. Roxy stopped the car and Joey jumped out.

"See you later!" Roxy called cheerfully.

Joey wondered for the millionth time why she bothered to keep coming back to her.

* * *

Charlie looked up from her glass of wine when she heard someone burst through the door.

"A double vodka please."

It was Joey. And she looked desperately unhappily. Charlie was on her feet and heading over to her before she'd even finished speaking.

"Bad day?" she asked.

Joey felt better just at the sound of Charlie's voice.

"Make that two," she said to the barman.

The barman handed the drinks over. Joey turned to Charlie.

"Cheers," she said.

They both drank their shots and Charlie dropped onto the stool beside Joey, silently fretting over the stress on her friend's face.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," Joey assured her.

"Well, if that was true, I wouldn't have asked, would I?"

Joey sighed.

"My girlfriend is currently in bed with another woman," she said blankly.

Charlie looked aghast.

"You mean you caught her…?"

"Oh, no. She picked her up in front of me."

Charlie was speechless. Joey calmed down enough to laugh, even if it was a little bitter.

"Don't worry. It's not the first time and it won't be the last," she said. "It's just one of those things I have to put up with."

She shrugged but felt comforted by Charlie's hand on her shoulder.

"She just picks up girls randomly?"

"Pretty much."

"Well then, it sounds like you need a good night out. Care for some company?"

* * *

Four hours later, Joey was relaxed and had almost forgotten about Roxy and the redhead. Charlie had succeeded in making her laugh and with the wine flowing, mixed with several shots, Joey was surprisingly happy. A not so small thrill shot through her when Charlie leaned in close, still laughing and put her hand on Joey's knee. Joey looked down at Charlie's hand, appreciating the contact. Charlie made her feel normal. She made her feel worthwhile.

"Right everyone," Alf called from the bar. "Time to get back to your homes."

Joey's good mood broke.

"I really, really don't want to go home," she admitted.

"Well, we could grab a bottle and hang out at mine," Charlie suggested.

Joey leapt at the chance to avoid going home and to spend more time with the woman she'd come to care for so quickly.

* * *

By the time Charlie and Joey were yawning, it was 3am.

"I'd better head off," Joey said, glancing at her watch. "I really hope they're quiet."

"Where do you sleep when Roxy…?"

"On the couch."

Charlie shook her head.

"Have I mentioned that I don't like her and I don't think she's good enough for you?"

"Maybe a few times," Joey grinned, leaning closer.

Charlie reached out and stroked Joey's hair without thinking. She wanted nothing more than to take Joey away from someone who didn't appreciate her, and show her a world where she would be adored. She traced her thumb across Joey's cheek and both were reminded of the hand-holding the night before. Unable to resist, Charlie lent forward and pressed her lips delicately against Joey's, terrified that she would scare her away any minute. She was pleased when Joey returned her kiss, holding her close and permitting Charlie's eager tongue, entry. She wanted Joey more than she had ever wanted anyone before. Panic filled her when Joey eventually pulled away, abrupt and ashamed of herself.

"I'm sorry," Charlie whispered. "I shouldn't have…"

"No, it's okay. I wanted to. But I can't, Charlie. I'm sorry."

Charlie nodded.

"I know."

"I know Roxy cheats on me all the time but it's just not me. Right now, I really wish it was but I can't betray her, not any more than I have been."

Charlie sighed heavily, hating the fact that Joey was choosing some horrible girl over her. It wasn't right. She and Joey would be so good together if only she'd ditch Roxy and give her a chance.

"I'd better head home," Joey said, sounding utterly depressed.

Joey stood and so did Charlie.

"You could stay!" she blurted out.

Joey looked confused until Charlie explained that she could her room. Charlie would sleep in with Ruby.

"I wouldn't want to put you out," Joey said, although she did like the idea of staying.

"It's fine. My Dad lived here for a few days last year and Ruby and I got on fine sharing. Neither of us mind."

"Well, if you're sure," Joey said.

Charlie took her hand and led her into the bedroom.

"If you give me a minute, I'll change the sheets," Charlie offered.

"Oh, I'm not fussy. Don't worry about it."

If she was being honest with herself, she quite liked the idea of curling up where Charlie lay night after night.

"Okay," Charlie said. "I hate tackling the duvet."

Joey smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. She reached out for Charlie's hand and pulled her down next to her.

"I'm sorry for messing you around," Joey said seriously.

"You haven't."

"Yes, I have."

"Maybe a little," Charlie said, smiling to show she didn't mind.

She put an arm around Joey's shoulders.

"How could she treat me the way she does?" Joey suddenly said.

She threw herself back against the pillows.

"I honestly have no idea," Charlie said, sighing heavily.

She moved so that she could lie behind Joey and wrapped her arms around her.

"You should be with someone who will love you, offer you nice gestures for no reason, remain completely faithful, respect you, hold you through the night," she said.

Joey turned around in her embrace and looked into Charlie's eyes.

"Unfortunately that kind of thing doesn't exist. So I'm stuck with Roxy."

"How do you know it doesn't exist?"

"Because people are inherently selfish and manipulative."

"That's what your relationship has taught you?" Charlie asked. "You seriously need to leave her, Joey."

"I don't know how," Joey admitted.

"People aren't that bad, you know," Charlie said, changing the subject slightly. "There are people in the world who would treat you like a Princess if you gave them the chance."

"People behave nicely at the beginning, make you fall for them and then they hurt you," Joey said certainly.

"I wouldn't," Charlie replied with full sincerity.

Joey traced her thumb over Charlie's lips, wishing that it was true. Charlie kissed her thumb lightly as silence descended on them.

"I'd better let you get to sleep," Charlie said eventually, moving to get off the bed.

Joey pulled her back down.

"Would you stay? You know, just to sleep a little?" she asked.

Charlie relented and wrapped herself back around Joey.

"Of course," she said, "you confusing, little lady."

Joey grinned, kissed Charlie chastely on the mouth and then closed her eyes, keeping Charlie as close as possible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Joey woke up slowly the next morning, still in Charlie's arms. She watched her sleep for a few moments and sighed. Here she was, in the arms of a beautiful woman who cared about her and wanted to be with her and yet she knew that in a few minutes she would be returning to someone not quite as beautiful, who she sometimes didn't think loved her at all. She remembered the kiss they had shared. She was torn between regret over going behind Roxy's back and regret over not giving in and allowing herself to feel wanted. Charlie stirred, blinking and smiling at her. She whispered good morning and Joey sat up to release the arm she had slept on all night. Charlie stretched it out, feeling severe pins and needles but not really minding. Joey apologised sheepishly.

"It's not a problem," Charlie said. "Do you want some breakfast?"

Joey shook her head.

"I'd better be going. When she realises that I didn't come home all night, she's going to be furious."

Charlie nodded, wondering just how furious Roxy was capable of getting. She couldn't help but fret.

"Will I see you later?" Charlie asked.

Joey looked unsure.

"As friends, I mean," Charlie added. "I promise I'll keep my lips to myself."

Joey grinned.

"What about your hands?" she asked.

"I'll do my best," Charlie promised.

"I'll call you later," Joey said. "I just need to gauge how things are at home."

Charlie let Joey get up and put her shoes on. She followed her out of the bedroom and towards the door, passing Ruby on the way. She grinned at them, amused, making Joey hurry out faster. Charlie hugged her goodbye at the door and then returned to Ruby.

"Not a date, hey?" Ruby teased.

"Nothing happened," Charlie assured her.

"Yeah, you slept on the floor, did you?"

"I just held her."

Charlie sat down on the couch, looking thoughtful.

"Really?" Ruby asked, suddenly believing her.

"We did kiss but she pulled back," Charlie revealed. "She doesn't want to cheat on her girlfriend – who's evil, by the way."

"Well, you would say that," Ruby pointed out.

"She's angry, a cheat and a liar; she's horrible," Charlie replied firmly.

"Then why does she stay with her?"

"I don't think even she knows."

* * *

Joey was nervous when she arrived home. Roxy was sitting quietly in a chair in the living room. She turned her head. Joey stopped.

"Where have you been?" she asked quietly.

"I stayed with a friend."

"You don't have any friends," Roxy pointed out.

Joey swallowed. It was true that the only friend she had was Charlie and she wasn't particularly keen on naming her and risking their connection for the sake of defending herself.

"Who were you with?" Roxy demanded.

"I told you," Joey said, coming to sit on the sofa. "I stayed the night at a friend's because I didn't want to spend my evening listening to you screwing another girl."

She felt bold but then, she often did at the beginning of a fight. It was at the end of it that she dissolved into a wreck. Roxy snorted.

"You know we have an agreement about that," she said. "We understand each other."

"No, we don't," Joey replied, twisting her hands in her lap. "Every time you go off with someone else, you hurt me."

Roxy stood suddenly, making Joey jump.

"Did you go off with someone else?" she demanded.

"No," Joey lied, thinking instantly of the kiss she and Charlie had shared and the fact that she'd spent the night in the pretend-platonic arms of another woman.

"Did you go off with someone else?" Roxy said, raising her voice and towering over her.

Joey felt her resolve start to crumble. She didn't speak.

"Did you?" Roxy yelled, grabbing Joey by her shirt.

"Yes!" Joey admitted, trying not to cry. "I kissed another girl! Okay?"

"Okay?" Roxy asked, not releasing her grip. "No, that is not okay!"

She let go of Joey's clothes and hit her hard across the face. Joey instinctively tried to protect herself.

"You live in my house, everything you have is paid for by me and you dare to go off with someone else?"

"You were with someone else too!" Joey said, from beneath her hands.

"I'm allowed to!"

Joey jumped up, feeling a swirl of righteous anger flood her.

"Why? Why should you be allowed to? Why should you be allowed to do half the things you do? Charlie made me feel special! She cares about me. You don't!"

She instantly regretted mentioning Charlie's name. It was a small town. It wouldn't be hard for Roxy to track her down.

"I do care about you," Roxy said, a little more quietly. "But you don't exactly make it easy. You're useless!"

Joey sighed. She didn't want to endure the 'useless' argument again.

"You're a waste of space, Joey. Of course I'm going to seek comfort with other women. You're not good enough for me and you never have been. I have to do something to keep myself satisfied in this miserable life you've forced me into."

Joey swallowed, determined not to be weak and tearful. Roxy surprised her with a hard shove. Losing her balance, Joey tripped backwards over the coffee table. She cried out in pain as she landed on the floor, bringing several items from the table with her. She looked up at Roxy who was glaring.

"Don't you dare do that me again," Roxy said. "You're pathetic."

* * *

Charlie concentrated hard on work, attempting to lose herself in that instead of thinking about Joey. She considered getting in touch but Joey had been vague about when they might see each other again and she didn't want to apply pressure. It felt like last night, by going too far with Joey, for pushing her boundaries and encouraging her to be unfaithful, she might well have lost her.

Joey awkwardly tried to clean up. Her cheek was cut and bruised from the force of Roxy's hand. She had only slapped her but judging by the wound, it looked like her ring had caught her. It wasn't unusual. She'd attempted to pick the little bits of glass out of her back but it felt like there was still some left in there. She was severely bruised as well and winced every time she scrubbed the blood and apple juice from the carpet. It was definitely going to stain.

* * *

"Charlie Buckton?" said a stern voice.

Charlie turned round and saw a raven-haired woman glaring at her, fists clenched.

"Who wants to know?"

"Roxanne Casewell," the woman said.

Charlie had a flashback to the first breakfast she'd shared with Joey, when her girlfriend had shown up and dragged her away.

"Where the hell do you get off kissing my girlfriend?" Roxy demanded furiously.

Charlie blanched, aware that her colleagues were peering at her with interest, especially Watson.

"I don't think this is the time or the place," Charlie said carefully.

"And I don't care what you think," Roxy said. "All I care about is that you stay away from Joey. She's mine and nobody else's."

She turned and left the police station.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Charlie slowed her stride across the beach when she spotted a dark haired girl sitting huddled and alone, staring at nothing. It was Joey. She headed straight over without hesitation. Dropping beside her, she touched her arm but Joey refused to look up out of the curtain of hair hiding her face.

"Hey," Charlie said gently.

"Hi, Charlie," Joey replied, still not looking up.

"So, you told Roxy about the kiss then?"

"Sorry. Did she approach you?"

"Yelled at me in the middle of the station," Charlie confirmed.

"I'm sorry. She forced it out of me," Joey apologised.

Charlie nodded. Concerned by how flat Joey's voice was. She attempted to pull back Joey's hair so that she could look at her properly but Joey turned further away. Charlie noticed the pattern of tears forming on Joey's knees where she was curled up into herself.

"Joey, please look at me," Charlie said. "I'm sorry for kissing you. Well, okay, I'm not because it was the best kiss of my life but I'm sorry about the circumstances. I didn't mean to make things worse for you. Please forgive me."

Joey looked up sharply.

"None of this is your fault. Don't apologise," she said sincerely.

She quickly hid her face again, remembering the necessity of shying away and not letting Charlie see the state she was in but she was too late. The shock on Charlie's face registered very quickly. She pulled Joey back, intent on seeing the mess she was in, even though it broke her heart. Keeping her gentle grip on Joey's chin, Charlie stared into her eyes.

"What happened to you?"

Joey didn't speak. She felt utterly humiliated that Charlie was seeing her like this, not to mention devastated that there was anything to see.

"I'm guessing Roxy didn't take it well," Charlie concluded.

"Something like that," Joy admitted, forcing herself out of Charlie's grasp and pulling away. She put her head in her hands, wincing at the pain from her cheek bone.

"Joey, this is serious," Charlie insisted. "You need to go to the hospital."

"I never go to the hospital," Joey replied firmly.

The reality of Joey's situation suddenly hit Charlie with full force. It wasn't an isolated incident.

"What do you mean?" she checked.

Joey just stared at her. She didn't have the words to explain herself.

"It doesn't matter," she finally said.

"Of course it matters!" Charlie insisted, her voice catching.

Joey shook her head.

"Look, just leave me, okay?" Joey said, standing up.

Charlie's eyes were drawn to the blood stains on her back. She jumped to her feet and grabbed Joey's arm, turning her round and then feeling guilty about the pain on her face.

"Just leave me," Joey pleaded.

"You're bleeding," Charlie pointed out.

Joey sighed, not sure what to say.

"Let me see. Please?"

Joey relented and allowed Charlie to walk behind her and lift her shirt. Charlie swallowed.

"Joey, you have to let me take you to hospital," she said.

"I'll be fine," Joey said, shrugging her away.

"You have glass imbedded into your back."

Joey felt suddenly overwhelmed by the level of emotion Charlie was displaying.

"Charlie, if I go to the hospital, if I tell anyone what happened, then she'll just do it again."

"She won't be able to if you press charges for assault."

"I can't do that!"

Charlie stood directly in front of her, holding her hands tightly.

"You have to do that," she said.

Joey shook her head.

"Please, Joey? You need treatment. You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to. Rachel will see you, no questions asked."

"It hurts," Joey admitted.

"I'm not surprised. Please? Let me take you."

Joey nodded slowly and allowed Charlie to lead her up the beach.

***

Joey's grip on Charlie's hand grew tighter as they entered the hospital. She was frightened. She didn't want treatment. She just wanted to hide away and pretend that nothing had happened. Charlie led the way, finding Rachel at the nurse's station, leafing through some paperwork.

"Rachel? Can I borrow you?" Charlie asked discreetly.

"Sure. What's up?" Rachel replied, approaching her.

Charlie stepped back and presented Joey, who looked terrified.

"She's got glass embedded in her back," Charlie explained.

"Okay. Can you tell me what happened?" Rachel asked.

"I fell over a table."

It was sort of true. Rachel looked dissatisfied but told her to follow. Joey dragged Charlie with her. She couldn't bear to face this alone.

***

Rachel was nice but Joey was too on edge to be as friendly as she would normally be. She just wanted to get fixed and get out of there.

"Okay, I need to take your top half of clothing off but I'll give you a blanket to cover yourself," Rachel said gently.

She glanced at Charlie and then back at Joey.

"Do you want to do this in private?"

Charlie turned to leave but Joey asked her to stay. Charlie nodded and promised not to look as Rachel helped Joey out of her clothes. She dutifully turned away until Joey was covered by the blanket. Then she reached for Joey's hand, as Rachel stepped behind her to start treatment. She felt Joey squeeze harder every time it hurt. Rachel apologised several times. Charlie thought her heart was breaking.

***

"Do you want me to drop you home?" Charlie asked as she drove Joey away from the hospital.

Joey shook her head.

"Can we go back to the beach?" she asked.

Charlie nodded and took a left.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I just had glass removed from my back," Joey said flatly.

"You know I had to get you treatment, right?" Charlie asked.

She didn't want Joey to be angry but it seemed like she was. Gone was the friendly, funny woman she'd come to care about so much. Now she seemed so closed, so broken, so empty and bitter.

"I know," she said quietly. "And I know I don't sound very grateful but I am. Thank you."

Charlie smiled and reached across to give Joey's hand a gentle squeeze. She parked her little, blue car at the beach and jumped out, walking round to the passenger side to help Joey. They walked together to the same spot on the beach like they'd been at before. Settling on the sand together, neither woman knew what to say.

"How long has this been going on for?" Charlie asked, not really expecting an answer.

"Three years," Joey said quietly, not looking at her.

Charlie swallowed.

"Why… why don't you leave her?"

"I told you yesterday. I don't know how."

"You just… pack your bags, Joey."

"And where am I meant to go?" Joey asked, finally turning to face her, looking tearful.

"You could stay with me. I'll protect you."

"Nobody's ever been able to protect me so far."

"I will."

"I can't do it, Charlie. I'm not strong enough. Roxy is all I have. And she doesn't always treat me like this. She doesn't. Sometimes, she's so good to me. Without her, I have nothing. I am nothing."

"No, Joey, she's just made you feel like that. You are something, something special. But with everything you've gone through, your self-esteem, it's… it's gone but you can get it back. You can get through this. Let me help you," Charlie pleaded.

"You didn't know me before I got with her, Charlie. I don't know what you seem to see in me now but back then… you wouldn't have even given me a second look."

Charlie didn't believe her but remained quiet.

"Roxy gave me a life. Okay, so it's not always as great as it could but she's all I have. Without her, I have no home, no money… nothing but a life of being alone," Joey said.

"But you can't carry on like you are, Joey. Today we were extracting glass from your skin and stitching your cheek but what about tomorrow? What about the day after?"

"It's not normally as bad as this," Joey insisted. "The worst damage she's ever really done up until now is break my wrist. And the glass was my fault. She pushed me and I did genuinely fall over the table. And it's not like I didn't deserve it."

"Deserve it?" Charlie asked, exasperated.

"I kissed you!" Joey pointed out. "I cheated on her!"

"That doesn't mean you should end up in the hospital!"

"Well, you shouldn't have dragged me there then!"

Charlie sighed in defeat. It was like talking to a brick wall. Joey was hard and holding her at arms length and it didn't look like it was going to change.

***

Half an hour passed in silence. While Charlie had the distinct impression that Joey didn't really want her around, she wasn't prepared to leave her. How could she live with herself if she didn't try to stop Joey going back to an abusive girlfriend? She couldn't.

"It's one of those things that starts so subtly you don't even realise it," Joey said thoughtfully. "Once, we were so happy. Roxy was the love of my life. She rescued me from my family who all hated me. She made me feel like I was worth something. I needed rescuing and she was the one who did it. But the thing is, she's strong and I'm weak. I'm just one of those people who get bullied. I always have been. Looking back now, she started manipulating me way before it turned violent. She didn't want me spending time with my friends; she needed to know where I was all the time. She didn't even want me to work, although I managed to keep that up until we moved here. And I know that the only reason we did move here was because my friends knew what was happening and she didn't want them to interfere. She presented it as such a good opportunity to start afresh."

She chewed her lip and cast a glance at Charlie who was listening intently.

"The violence started over some stupid row. I forgot to record a TV show that she wanted to see. It started off so simple. I thought it was just another argument. We were used to them. But it just escalated."

Charlie reached a hand out to Joey who accepted it.

"The first time she hit me, she felt terrible. She took herself off to counselling to try and get some anger management and was so full of remorse that I couldn't leave her. The second and third time, it was the same. She was as devastated about it as I was and it made me want to help her. But I guess my reaction just showed her that it was okay to do what she did. Before too long, she'd left therapy and I was her punch bag."

She swallowed and took a breath, comforted by Charlie's touch and her silence. It was the first time she'd ever talked to anyone other than Roxy about it. It felt strange and unsettling.

"It became a pattern so quickly," Joey said. "Before I knew what was going on, I was trapped in this situation that I was so afraid of. I tried to defend myself at first. I gave her hell every time and told her over and over again that she couldn't treat me that way. I lost interest in being affectionate with her because she usually got amorous when she was trying to make things up to me. That's why she started going off with other women. She said I didn't make her happy."

Charlie tried to fight images of Joey and Roxy in bed together. It wasn't an appropriate time to get jealous. She held Joey's hand a little tighter, to show her that she was there.

"I worked hard to change it. We started sleeping together again but I've just been going through the motions for years now. She demands it, I give it. But I hardly ever enjoy it because I can't relax around her. I never quite know where we stand because one minute she's loving and the next she's cruel. I can't keep up."

She wiped her tears away.

"But the fact that sometimes, she does love me… and knowing that I'm nothing without her... that's what keeps me there."

Charlie fought her own tears.

"I know you're scared, Joey," she ventured. "But you can't carry on like this."

"I don't have a choice."

Joey suddenly slumped into Charlie. She rested her head on Charlie's lap, ignoring the pain she was in. Charlie instinctively began stroking her hair.

"I know I can help you," she said.

"I'm not dragging you into my mess, Charlie."

"I'm already involved."

"You can disconnect."

"You honestly think I can disconnect, knowing that you're suffering in silence every day?"

"It's not every day," Joey said weakly.

Charlie continued stroking Joey's hair.

"This is probably the last time we're going to get to see each other," Joey said sadly. "Now that Roxy knows we kissed, she's going to make it impossible for me to see you."

"We can find a way," Charlie sad, sounding fragile.

Joey got to her feet and pulled Charlie with her.

"I know you think I'm weak and pathetic and crazy and probably a heap of things in between but I can't leave her. We've stayed together through everything and I know deep down, she loves me, even if she can't always show it."

Charlie wanted to protest but she didn't see any point.

"Thank you for caring about me," Joey said, stepping closer.

She gently kissed Charlie's mouth, taking her by surprise. She lost herself in the moment, channelling all her pain and fear of failure through it.

"Sorry," she apologised, blushing when they'd pulled apart. "I just wanted to be close to you one last time."

"It doesn't have to be one last time if you'll just…" Charlie pleaded, holding onto her hands.

"You're better off without me," Joey said, walking away.

Charlie watched her go.

"No, I'm not," she said to herself.


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews. It really means the world, especially as this story isn't exactly the easiest to write or detach from! Hopefully this chapter is a little bit lighter than the last. Thanks again for everyone's encouragement. xx_

**Chapter Seven**

Charlie was not in a good mood when she arrived at the Diner. She asked Leah for a coffee.

"Sure," her housemate replied. "Are you okay?"

"Heavy day," Charlie replied.

Leah bustled away making Charlie's drink.

"Hey, have you seen your friend today?" she asked.

"My friend?"

"You know, that girl you were having breakfast with last week. Joanne? Joey? Joe?"

"I saw her an hour ago. Why?" Charlie asked, instantly alert.

"Oh, I saw her before having some kind of altercation with some girl. And she looked in a bit of a state too."

"When was this?" Charlie asked.

"Um, about half an hour ago?" Leah replied.

She set the coffee down on the counter but Charlie was already gone.

***

Charlie was out of breath by the time she reached Joey and Roxy's house, as she had run the entire way there. Not caring whether Roxy was home or not, she banged hard on the door. After a few moments, the door opened a crack. Joey peeped out, sporting a cut eyebrow and bruised eye.

"Charlie!" she hissed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was worried," Charlie said.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, you look it."

Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. Joey looked anxious.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes, but I don't know how long for."

"Let me in."

Joey hesitated but Charlie nudged her way inside.

"Charlie, if she comes home…"

"I won't be long," Charlie promised. "Where's your first aid kit?"

"Bathroom."

Joey led the way.

***

Two minutes later, Joey was perched on the edge of the bath and Charlie was bent close, mopping up the blood seeping from her face.

"Anywhere else?" Charlie asked.

"No," Joey replied.

"Will you let me take you away from here?"

"She'll be furious if I'm not home when she gets back."

Charlie sighed heavily in pure frustration.

"I'm sorry for letting you down, Charlie," Joey apologised.

Charlie stroked Joey's cheek tenderly.

"It's not me that you're letting down, sweetheart."

She stood up and pulled Joey to her feet, leading Joey out of the bathroom.

"I guess I'd better go," she said. "But if you change your mind, you know where I am."

Joey nodded and walked Charlie to the door. She hugged her goodbye, grateful that Charlie was careful of her injured body. Offering Joey a sad smile, Charlie left. Joey closed the door behind her.

***

Charlie was utterly miserable by the time she got home. Delving into a tub of ice cream, she sat in front of an American sitcom but failed to pay much attention to it. All that filled her mind was Joey. She just wanted to race round to the house of horror and abduct her. Her whole life was about protecting people and now, when it mattered the most, her hands were tied and it was impossible. She couldn't charge Roxy unless Joey wanted her to. And Joey didn't want her to. She couldn't rescue Joey without permission. It wasn't fair.

"Hey, sis, what's wrong?" Ruby asked, arriving home and sitting beside her.

Charlie barely looked up.

"Charlie?"

Ruby was concerned.

"Joey's being beaten up by her girlfriend and I don't know what to do," Charlie admitted.

"Beat up the girlfriend," Ruby said quickly.

Charlie snorted at Ruby's seriousness. Ruby grinned and then shook her head.

"Okay, I know that's totally not the answer but can't you like, bust her or something?"

"Not without Joey's permission," Charlie said.

"Why isn't Joey giving her permission?" Ruby asked.

"She's a battered wife. She's so broken, so convinced that she's nothing without her that she's willing to put up with whatever she dishes out. It's just so awful to watch."

"I bet," Ruby frowned. "Especially when you're in love with her and all."

"I'm not in love with her!" Charlie protested.

Ruby raised her eyebrows.

"I'm not!" Charlie repeated.

"I have never seen you behave this way over any girl before," Ruby pointed out.

Charlie looked thoughtful.

"There's just something special about her," she admitted.

***

Joey was tense as she prepared dinner for Roxy and her date, who was oblivious to the fact that Joey was anything but Roxy's housemate. The girls were making out on the couch, completely wrapped up in each other, loud and involved. Joey knew that Roxy was punishing her further for her kiss with Charlie, although even this and her still painful injuries weren't enough to make her want to take back any of the special moments they had shared. Maybe it was wrong, in fact, she was certain it was, but she just couldn't help it. Although she was determined to stay faithful from now on and that she wouldn't impose herself on Charlie's life any further than she already had, what they had already shared had given her a breath of life that she so desperately needed.

"Dinner's ready," she called, setting the plates on the table.


	8. Chapter 8

_I appear to be having a posting compulsion tonight! Here you go!_

**Chapter Eight**

Charlie had just got out of the bath when there was a knock on the door. Wrapped in her robe, she opened the door to find Joey standing there meekly.

"Is this a bad time?" Joey asked.

"Never," Charlie replied sincerely, stepping aside to let her friend in.

Joey tried not to look at the gap in Charlie's robe as she followed her into the house. Now really wasn't the time. They settled on the sofa.

"How come you're allowed out?" Charlie asked.

She had never been one to beat about the bush.

"I'm not. Roxy's punishing me by having someone over. She thinks I'm still in the living room. I can't stay too long."

Charlie frowned, hating the thought of Joey having to spend a night on the couch listening to goodness knows what. She doubted Roxy would be polite about it. Silence fell between them before Joey spoke up.

"I just wanted to thank you for everything today," she said.

Charlie shrugged.

"It's fine. Anyone would have..."

"Flounced out in frustration."

"Cared enough to help you."

Joey put a tentative hand on Charlie's arm.

"It means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me."  
"You mean a lot to me too. I want to help you."

"You are."

Charlie tried to smile.

"Just not in the way that I want to," she said.

Joey apologised. She'd lost several friendships over her destructive relationship with Roxy. Either Roxy had forced her away from them or they'd had to distance themselves from her because they found it too hard and frustrating. She couldn't blame them. And she couldn't bear for it to happen to her and Charlie. In a few short days they had become so close.

"No, I'm sorry," Charlie said. "I should learn to stop going on about it."

She squeezed Joey's hand gently.

"I just worry."

"I know."

"How are you? Physically?"

"Sore but I'll survive. Thanks to you," Joey said, smiling gratefully.

"I just don't understand why you stay," Charlie said suddenly, cursing herself for going back on her word about not mentioning it again.

Joey sighed. Roxy's violence was always going to get in the way of their friendship. She shouldn't have come. She had been right earlier on the beach when she'd kissed Charlie goodbye and explained that they probably wouldn't see each other again. It was just that when Charlie had marched over to the house, no questions asked and treated her new injuries and been so kind; when she'd had nowhere to go tonight, turning to Charlie had been her first instinct. She stood up to leave. Charlie held on and begged her to stay. She sighed and sat back down heavily.

"It's all I've ever known, Charlie," she said finally.

"Five years compared to a whole lifetime?" Charlie questioned. "You can undo the cycle you've fallen into if you just try. If you let me help you..."

"It goes deeper than that," Joey snapped, instantly regretting it.

Charlie looked confused and Joey really didn't want to explain, although now she knew she had to.

"My Mum was pretty much the nicest person I'd ever met up until now, up until I met you," she ventured. "But aside from her, I've not exactly been surrounded by supportive, uplifting people."

Charlie chewed her lip, certain that she wasn't going to like what was she was about to hear.

"My Dad... well, put it this way, if Roxy had been a guy, they would have got along. He never had a lot of time for me. I spent most of my childhood trying to get his attention, trying to make him proud. Mum was always proud. I could have come home from school with a note to say I'd been expelled and she would have said I'd tried my best. But Dad... he only saw the bad in me. He'd let my brother humiliate me in front of his friends. He'd pick on me himself. No teenager really has an abundance of self-esteem but I don't think I had any."

"What do you mean by pick on you?" Charlie asked nervously.

"It's embarrassing that I honestly have no concept of normality," Joey admitted. "Sometimes I think I get a grasp on it and then it gets all confused. When I was growing up, I just assumed that Dads hit their kids. Then teachers started asking questions and I got interviewed by social workers and my Dad freaked out and did everything he could to make them go away. I still have no idea what that was. Nothing felt that terrible until Mum died and left me with my Dad and my brother. It was seventeen and just about ready to bound out of the closet and that was what felt normal to me. That's what felt right. But they said it wasn't normal. They made me feel dirty and ashamed of myself."

Charlie sighed. She wasn't sure who she disliked more at this point – Joey's girlfriend, father or brother. They all seemed equally responsible for the state she was in. And she felt guilty that coming out had been relatively easy for her. She'd known since she was young. Her father had felt awkward at first. He'd stumbled over his words for a week or so and shuffled his feet in her presence, looking at the floor and feeling embarrassed but he'd accepted it because he accepted her. Her mother hadn't minded and Ruby's only objection had been that she wouldn't be bringing cute older boys home for her to ogle.

"You know when I told you my Dad was away?" Joey said.

Charlie nodded, remembering their first conversation over breakfast. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Well, he's in prison. They lost their tempers when they realised I had a girlfriend – Roxy – and they... well, let's just say I was in hospital for a while."

"What?" Charlie shrieked, instantly feeling guilty for not remaining neutral.

Joey stroked her palm soothingly and tried to smile.

"My brother wasn't charged. Dad took the blame and I wasn't interested in pressing charges against either of them. But it was in the hands of the police, not me. The injuries spoke for themselves and there was nothing I could do. Dad's in prison for attempted murder. Roxy rescued me, physically and emotionally. That's why... that's how I know she loves me and she doesn't mean it. Because she saved me. Deep down there's a loving person in there."

"But she's doing the same thing to you that they did."

"It's not..."

Joey sighed. It was the same. But she didn't have the strength to get out of it. And it was all very well for Charlie to say she'd save her but what would happen then? Roxy rescued her and turned on her. She couldn't bear for Charlie to do the same. She wanted Charlie to stay perfect. And if, by some miracle, Charlie didn't reject her or hurt her, something bad would happen to her. The only good person in Joey's life had been taken away from her. She'd died. Good people were rare and they didn't survive. She couldn't cope with that either. One way or another, she and Charlie were going to destroy each other. She had to stay with Roxy. She couldn't break Charlie down.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

It had been three excruciatingly long days and Charlie was beside herself. She had gone jogging at their usual time in their usual place and Joey hadn't been there. She had called put Joey hadn't picked up. She had sent text messages but they had gone unanswered. She had even called round to the house, knowing that it was a big risk but nobody had answered the door. Every day she had checked in with Rachel at the hospital, coercing her into revealing whether Joey had been admitted or not, just in case. Fortunately, she hadn't, although Charlie didn't think she'd go to the hospital even if she needed to so it probably didn't mean anything. Charlie had also completely broken the rules and accessed Joey's file at work and now felt completely sick to know exactly what the woman she adored so much had been through with her family. Social Workers had been in and out of her life since she was seven years old and the family had been under observation for years and it didn't look like any of the professionals had been completely satisfied with any family member's insistence that everything was perfectly fine. Nothing had ever been perfectly fine in Joey Collins' life, it seemed. Charlie so desperately wanted to save her but it was impossible if the victim was fighting against it.

Joey had spent the past three days working as hard as she could to get things back to normal after her brief dalliance with Charlie and the idea of freedom. Roxy had stayed faithful and not been violent although she had continued to wound her with words. She had mocked her for her crush on Charlie and made out that it was a silly, one-sided thing. She had criticised her for throwing away their 'beautiful relationship' for some cop who would only have slept with her and moved on. Roxy had spent a painstaking amount of time explaining that Joey had no idea how the world worked, that she was immature and didn't understand about life or people.

"Before you ask, nobody with the surname Collins has been admitted today," Rachel said, the moment Charlie entered the Diner.

Charlie flushed, embarrassed. She had been irritatingly persistent.

"Sorry," she said.

"You're pretty worried about this girl, I take it?" Rachel said.

"It's keeping me awake at night," Charlie admitted.

It was true. Every night since she'd realised how back things were for Joey, she'd hardly slept. All she could think about was this shy, under-confident, yet radiant woman who Charlie knew she could heal and make happy if only Joey would let her.

"Is there anything I can do?" Rachel asked. "I mean, would it help if I went round and talked to her? Or if you brought her to me? I mean, if she's having problems, I could arrange for her to see a counsellor or something."

"She won't go," Charlie said sadly. "She won't be helped. Yet."

Rachel smiled at Charlie's certainty that it was only a matter of time. Charlie's own confidence surprised her.

"She has to accept help eventually, right?" Charlie said. "I mean, this can't go on forever, can it? Someone can't stay with someone who... Not forever? They have to realise eventually? Right?"

"I presume she didn't really fall over a table the other day."

"Pushed over it, more like."

"I thought so."

"And the rest."

Rachel sighed. She saw cases like this on a regular basis but none of them were easy to take.

Roxy surprised Joey with a kiss when she got home that evening. She was warm, smiley, loving and kind. She brought home some take away and a DVD and they curled up on the couch together with a bottle of wine. It was nice. Joey felt like she was part of a normal couple for a change. She tried hard to block out the images of Charlie out of mind but it was almost impossible. As she sat leaning against Roxy who was stroking her arm, she could only remember being seated thigh to thigh with Charlie as their fingers played. It had been more thrilling than any sexual encounter Joey had ever had in her life. She closed her eyes and tried to refocus on where she was. She was with Roxy. She was in her arms, in her house, spending the evening with her. Roxy was her girlfriend, the woman she loved and the woman who loved her. Charlie was not in the equation.

"I saw that pretty, little girlfriend of yours today," Roxy said casually.

Joey blanched, feeling like she had been caught out.

"She didn't see me but I saw her chatting to some woman in the Diner. When I was yelling at her before, I never noticed how hot she was. No wonder you've got a crush on her."

"I don't have a crush on her," Joey said tightly.

"Oh yeah, you force yourself on her but you don't have a crush. Right!" Roxy laughed.

Joey sighed. She should have known this nicety was too good to be true. Roxy always spoilt it somehow.

"It wasn't like that," she said.

"You didn't seriously think this woman was into you?" Roxy asked.

She laughed again.

"She could have her pick of the girls in this town – gay or straight. Why on earth would she be into you? I don't even know why _I'm _into you. You're hardly an oil painting. And you're not likely to win personality of the year. I mean, come on."

Roxy sipped her wine and chuckled to herself.

"She said I mean a lot to her," Joey said quietly.

"I'm sure she did, sweetheart," Roxy said, with a patronising pat to her head.

Joey gritted her teeth, her mood depleting into upset.

"She really is hot though. I think I might need to see her in that uniform again," Roxy mused. "Have you seen her in it?"

Joey shook her head but reminded herself of images of Charlie in her running gear, low cut tops and the dressing gown from the other night.

"Yeah, I think maybe I'll have a crack at her," Roxy said.

Joey turned quickly round to face Roxy.

"No!" she protested.

Horrible images of Roxy and Charlie together made her want to cry. Part of her was sure Charlie would never allow Roxy to seduce her, not with everything she knew and everything she claimed to feel for Joey but then, Joey also knew that Roxy could be pretty convincing when she wanted to be.

"Are you telling me what to do?" Roxy asked, her eyes becoming hard and cold.

"No, I... I just... Please? Not Charlie."

"You realise you just set me a challenge?" said Roxy.

The following evening Charlie, Martha and Leah were having a girls' night at the Surf Club. Tired of Charlie being so fretful and maudlin without revealing why, her friends had insisted that she go out with them for a few hours and she had to admit that it felt nice to let her hair down and forget about the world. At least, it had been nice until Roxy had walked through the door. Charlie had barely been able to keep her eyes off her all night, largely because if Roxy was here then Joey was probably home alone, in which case, if Charlie could get away from Martha and Leah, she could go and visit her.

"Do you like that girl at the bar?" Martha asked quietly.

"What? No!" Charlie said, disgusted by the idea.

"The lady doth protest too much!" Martha grinned, looking conspiratorially at Leah.

"Oh look, we need more drinks. Charlie, you're up," Leah said.

They nudged a protesting Charlie out of her seat. Not wanting to make a scene, Charlie headed up to the bar, attempting to stay away from Roxy but the other woman spotted her and immediately wandered over, smiling.

"Hey, I'm really sorry for yelling at you the other day."

Charlie ignored her and asked Alf for three more glasses of wine.

"Hey, Charlie, can we just put it behind us? I know Joey's crush on you got a little out of hand and I totally overreacted but..."

Charlie stared at her incredulously, wondering if clouds were made of candy floss in this woman's mind. Did she really see things in such a warped way? Did she really view the world only how she wanted it to be? Joey did not have a crush on her. It was a two-way thing. Unless Joey had lied to get Charlie out of trouble. That was entirely possible.

"Maybe we could make friends over dinner sometime?" Roxy continued, slipping a hand onto Charlie's waist and leaning in closer.

"I don't have dinner with scum," Charlie said coldly, stepping back, paying for and accepting her drinks and storming back to her table.

Joey was awake, lying in bed in the dark when Roxy got home. She listened out for two sets of footsteps, hoping that she wouldn't have to do that awkward manoeuvre of getting out of bed so that Roxy and her date, likely, Charlie, could get into it. Roxy appeared in the doorway, flicking the light on, alone and furious.

"Your cop is a bitch," she said flatly.

She stripped, jumped into bed and turned the light off without as much as a goodnight. In the darkness, Joey smiled to herself and closed her eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Charlie parked round the corner from Joey's house and paused, unsure of whether visiting was the right thing to do or not. Finally, taking a deep breath, she got out of the car, walked down the street and knocked on the door, hoping with all her heart that Roxy wasn't home. The last thing she wanted to do was make things worse for Joey but having not seen or heard from her for three whole days, rolling over to four, was becoming painful and she couldn't bear it. After a few moments, the door opened and Joey stood there in jeans and a baggy, red checked shirt. Her hair was down and although she looked frail, she still looked exquisitely beautiful.

"Charlie," she said.

The police officer smiled awkwardly.

"Is it okay that I'm here?" she asked.

She didn't want to put Joey in a bad position but she had to see her. She was relieved to see that she had no fresh facial injuries and that her old ones were starting to heal. Joey nodded and stepped back so that Charlie could come in, closing the door behind her.

"Can I get you a drink?" Joey asked.

"A coffee would be great. Thanks," Charlie said, following Joey into the kitchen.

Joey led the way and started making their beverages. She was happy that Charlie had come to see her and couldn't help but notice that Roxy had been right – Charlie did look hot in her uniform. She focussed on the coffee, chasing naughty thoughts from her brain.

"So, I hear you saw Roxy last night," she ventured.

Charlie blanched, surprised that Joey knew about that. She hadn't thought it had been the type of thing Roxy would share – unless Roxy had said she'd gone for it.

"I didn't do anything!" Charlie said a little too quickly.

"I know," Joey said, turning to face her and smiling kindly.

"I'm sorry," Charlie apologised, although she wasn't sure what she was sorry about.

"What for?"

Charlie frowned uncertainly. Joey reached out and took both Charlie's hands in hers.

"You turned her down. I'm grateful."

"I'd never hurt you," Charlie said. "I'd never encourage her to cheat on you."

Joey broke away and continued to make their drinks.

"Is it weird that the person I was most jealous of was you?" Joey said.

She stopped suddenly, cursing herself for saying it out loud. She handed Charlie her coffee and hurried into the living room.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, following her.

The women sat side by side on the sofa and Charlie stared at Joey imploringly.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked again.

"I can put up with Roxy cheating," Joey admitted. "But not with you. I couldn't bear it if you… if you and her…"

"You don't want me to be with someone?" Charlie asked.

"How messed up is that?"

Joey tried to laugh but couldn't.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, right now my head is too full of you to be with anyone else so you're safe. And Roxy would never be in the equation. I think she's evil."

This time, Joey did laugh. She reached out and touched Charlie lightly on the hand. They smiled at each other lovingly. Charlie chewed her lip and looked away.

"She keeps saying I have an immature crush on you," Joey said.

Charlie looked back at her, surprised.

"I guess she was trying to ridicule me and make me feel stupid. She kept saying that I was in a dream world if I thought someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me."

"Well, I am," Charlie said. "I think you're amazing."

Charlie put her coffee down, suddenly not caring if she was crossing the line. She took Joey's coffee out of her hands also and took both her hands in hers, drawing her closer and gazing into her eyes.

"Joey, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met in my life."

Joey blushed.

"I wish you could get beyond all this crap Roxy's convinced you about yourself," Charlie continued. "I wish you could see how incredible you really are."

"I wish you were right," Joey said sadly. "I wish I was the person you think I am."

"You are!" Charlie insisted.

Charlie leant closer and stroked Joey's face.

"Charlie…"

Joey bowed her head.

"We could be so happy together, Joey."

Charlie leant in closer and captured Joey's lips tenderly with her own. Slipping one hand to rest on Joey's hip and her other to tangle itself in her hair, Charlie's kiss became ever passionate as their bodies pressed together and their tongues danced in unison. After several minutes, they parted and let their foreheads rest together. Joey smiled, embarrassed and Charlie returned the grin.

"Please let me take you away from here," Charlie whispered.

Joey took a deep breath, knowing it was now or never.

"Okay," she whispered back. "Let me end things with her today."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Joey was anxiously waiting for Roxy to get home. Charlie had wanted to stay with her but Joey had insisted that ending things with her was something she needed to do by herself. She'd promised to phone as soon as it was done and Charlie would come and get her and they could be together. They'd kissed each other goodbye and now Joey was waiting to do the deed. She was terrified. She was worried about breaking up with Roxy even though she hadn't truly wanted to be with her for a long time. And she was frightened of being with Charlie. In the back of her mind, she was afraid of things not working out, or worse, of something happening to Charlie. Joey had a habit of bringing bad luck on good people that she cared about, or driving loved ones away and she didn't want to do that this time. All she had known for five years was Roxy and the way she handled things and all she had known prior to that was how her father and brother had handled things, which hadn't been much different. To change her world and let Charlie in, Charlie who was so gentle and loving was a big step. And to change it based on a handful of stolen kisses... the magnitude of the risk she was taking threatened to overwhelm her.

***

"You look happier," Ruby observed when Charlie came bounding into the Surf Club.

The youngest Buckton was playing pool with her friends but stopped when she spotted her sister. Charlie grinned.

"She's going to leave her and be with me!"

Ruby broke out into a delighted smile and pulled her sister into an embrace. Charlie had been moping about in a fretful state for days now and it was driving them both crazy. It was wonderful to know that this girl, who Ruby had only ever seen fleetingly was finally allowing herself to be rescued. And Ruby knew that Charlie would take care of her. Charlie was nothing if not strong and gentle, caring and faithful and she always had been.

"That's so great," she enthused.

"I'm just going to the Diner to check with Leah that it's okay for Joey to come and stay," Charlie said.

***

Joey tensed even further when Roxy came through the door, dumping her bag on the dining room table and shrugging off her coat.

"What's going on?" Roxy asked, immediately noticing Joey's bags, packed and piled neatly in the corner.

Joey hovered nervously nearby.

"I'm leaving you," Joey said, trying to sound strong.

Inside she felt like she was dying. She never thought the day would come when she would be saying these words. All she could do was keep Charlie's beautiful face in her mind.

"Excuse me?" Roxy replied incredulously.

"I'm leaving you," Joey replied.

She hoped that Roxy couldn't see her shaking.

"No, you're not," Roxy said, dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous."

She pushed past her into the kitchen and began to rummage through the fridge. Confused, Joey followed.

"I mean it," she said.

"No, you don't! You can't leave me!" Roxy said sharply. "I own you, Joey!"

"Not anymore," Joey replied.

Roxy glared at her. Joey swallowed, regretting telling Charlie that she could handle this by herself. She couldn't.

"I will always own you, Joey," Roxy said. "You're nothing without me. Don't ever forget that."

"That's not true," Joey said, attempting to sound bold.

"That cop's got into your head, hasn't she?" Roxy realised, closing the fridge and striding towards Joey who was suddenly rooted to the spot.

Joey fought off a wave of panic.

"I'm right, aren't I? It's her? She's got you thinking that you can be someone, hasn't she?" Roxy demanded, grabbing hold of Joey's wrists and pressing her against the kitchen counter.

"It's nothing to do with her," Joey lied, feeling frightened.

"Well, she's wrong, Joey," Roxy said. "You're nothing without me. I built you up and I can take you apart. I _will _take you apart. Don't you dare leave me."

She let go of Joey and returned to the fridge, leaving Joey in utter turmoil about what to do. Joey took a breath and closed her eyes. She conjured up Charlie's face and the memory of her kiss. Comforted for a moment she stepped forward once more.

"I'm still going," she said.

"Don't you listen?" Roxy snapped, whirling round again.

"Charlie and I are going to be together and there's nothing you can do about it!" Joey insisted.

Roxy paused. Then she smiled.

"If that bitch dares to take you away from me, I will hunt her down and put her through the kind of pain she's never even imagined," Roxy said darkly.

Joey froze.

"And having experienced the kind of thing I'm capable of, Joey, do you really want to put your precious Charlie through that?"

Joey swallowed, unable to speak.

"Well? Do you? Do you want her to get hurt?"

"She… She's a cop. You can't hurt her. She'll just… she'll just arrest you."

Roxy just laughed.

"Cops aren't superheroes, Joey. Didn't some policeman just get murdered here a few months ago? Are you that naïve to think that she's untouchable?" she asked.

Joey felt sick.

"So, are you selfish enough to put her at risk? Or are you going to stay with me?"

"I… I'll… I'll stay with you," Joey said, feeling utterly defeated.

Roxy smiled.

"Great. You call her and tell her it's off and that you don't love her anymore. And I'll cook dinner. Consider it a treat."

***

Charlie picked up the phone on the first ring.

"Hey! Did you do it? How did it go? Are you okay? I've spoken to Leah and everything's cool with you staying. And Ruby's excited about meeting you properly. And I'm all set to come and collect you whenever you're ready. And I'm so excited. And I'm sorry; I'm talking a mile a minute. I…"

"Charlie!"

Joey cut her off.

"Sorry," Charlie apologised.

"I can't do it," Joey said, fighting tears.

Charlie felt like her world had come crashing down around her.

"What?" she said weakly.

"I can't do it. I'm sorry."

"Why?" Charlie managed.

Suddenly the house seemed too small. The walls of her bedroom began to close in around her. She had spent the best part of the afternoon making space in her wardrobe and drawers for Joey's stuff, ready to welcome her into her home, to make her feel comfortable and safe.

"I just can't. I'm sorry."

"What's she said to you?" Charlie wanted to know.

"It doesn't matter," Joey told her.

"It does, Joey. Earlier you were all set to leave her and be with me. Tell me what's changed. What's the problem?"

"Charlie, please…"

"Joey! Why won't you be with me?"

"Because I don't love you!" Joey snapped.

***

Joey burst into tears at her own lie and hung up the phone. She couldn't believe she'd had to tell Charlie that she didn't love her when in all honesty, she had grown to love her more than anything else in the world. But she knew that if Charlie thought there was any hint of feeling there, she would keep pressing the issue, she would keep coming back and that would mean she would be unwittingly putting herself in the firing line. Joey couldn't bear for Charlie to be in danger, not for her. Sometimes it was necessary to be cruel to be kind and this was one of those times.

***

Devastated Charlie let her phone drop onto the floor. She didn't even have the energy to cry. How could Joey do this to her? What had happened to change Joey's feelings? Everything had seemed so genuine before. It had only been earlier that afternoon that they had been making out on Joey's couch. The way they had kissed and touched had meant so much to both of them. It didn't make sense that Joey didn't care about her anymore. Neither of them had said the L-word until now, until Joey had said she categorically did not love Charlie. To hear that, hurt. To hear that Joey didn't love her and wanted to stay with Roxy, a woman who was a violent cheat, was destroying her. She couldn't bear it. Sighing heavily, she looked round at all the spaces she had made in her room for her soon-to-be partner. With a wave of anger, she pushed over her dresser. She ripped her clothes off her hangers and threw herself on her bed, pounding her mattress until her fists hurt. Then she collapsed in tears. After several minutes catching her breath, she sat up and collected together her thoughts, deciding once and for all that if Joey didn't want her, then she didn't want Joey. She was sick and tired of trying to save someone who didn't want to be saved. It was too much energy, too much hard work. Everything she had ever tried to do for her, Joey had thrown back in her face. She had had enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Joey sat on the edge of the bath with a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers, her hands trembling. She closed her eyes and swallowed, the lump in her throat aching. Five days ago she had been ready to run away with Charlie. The woman of her dreams had been prepared to rescue her and take her away from this hell. But Roxy had ruined everything. She had forced her into a position where she had no choice but to stay. And now she had lived through five days of verbal and physical abuse and there was no sign that she was going to let up. Her attempt at running away had only proved that Roxy had her right where she wanted her. Roxy was in control and they both knew it. And worse than that, Charlie hated her. Letting tears roll down her cheeks she shoved the bottle of pills back in the medicine cabinet and threw the water down the sink and slammed the glass on the side. Roxy wasn't worth it.

***

"Hey, Charlie, how's that girl you were asking about?" Rachel asked pleasantly when she spotted her friend in the Surf Club working out.

"I don't know and I don't care," Charlie replied vaguely.

The second half of her sentence had been a lie but Charlie was determined not to think about Joey anymore. She had made her bed and it was up to her to lie in it. Charlie had given the girl every opportunity to leave Roxy and Joey had only thrown it back in her face. Her words had been harsh and cruel and Charlie had replayed them over and over again ever since that phone call. Charlie felt like an idiot. She had been prepared to give up anything for Joey, do anything for her but Joey obviously enjoyed being used and abused. She never would have been happy with someone who would have treated her right, who would have respected and adored her.

"Sorry to hear that," Rachel said, frowning.

Charlie shook her head.

"She just wasn't the person I thought she was, that's all," she said.

"Well, sometimes people in that kind of domestic situation don't behave very rationally," Rachel pointed out. "Make sure you remember that."

***

Joey felt her heart sink the moment Roxy got home. She had started to dread Roxy being around even more than normal now that she had tried to leave. And now she didn't even have Charlie around to make it better. Maybe she should have taken the risk and run off with Charlie. Perhaps Charlie could have handled herself and taken care of Roxy if need be. If Joey had given her all the information, they could have worked it out. Right now, Charlie thought Joey didn't care and they were both alone. It wasn't fair.

"I'm home!" Roxy yelled.

"I know," Joey muttered to herself.

"What are you mumbling about?" Roxy demanded, already in a foul mood.

"Nothing," Joey lied.

Roxy's expression was blazing. She seemed to have had a bad day.

"What did you say?" Roxy asked, her eyes burning into Joey.

"I said 'I know', okay? No big deal," Joey snapped.

"Don't get sarcastic with me, Joey. I'm not in the mood."

"You're never in the mood," Joey said.

"Do you really want to wind me up?" Roxy asked, shoving her in the chest.

"No," Joey replied meekly, stumbling backwards.

Roxy kept shoving and Joey kept stumbling until she bumped into the back of the couch. Joey felt heavy hearted. She didn't want to get into a fight. Then suddenly Roxy kissed her. Joey didn't want that either. She didn't want to be anywhere near her. Roxy lips kept coming and her hands started groping. Joey tried to push her away but Roxy was relentless. Sighing, Joey gave in and gave Roxy what she demanded in painful silence, wishing the entire time that she had left with Charlie when she'd had the chance.

***

"My friend as school has a lesbian sister," Ruby declared over dinner.

Charlie looked up from her pizza quizzically. It was several days later and Charlie had finally surfaced from work for long enough to spend some time with her sibling.

"What on earth does that have to do with anything?" she asked.

"I'm setting you up."

"Don't you dare!" Charlie protested.

"You have been mooning over that Joey girl for far too long and now that it's dead in the water," Ruby said, "you need to get back out there."

"I don't want to get back out there!" Charlie told her, taking another bite of her food.

"You have to, Charlie," Ruby said. "This is driving you crazy. Not to mention me. And Leah. And VJ. Even Rachel is asking about your mental health. I mean, what's that about?"

Charlie sighed and picked at a mushroom that had fallen onto her plate.

"I just can't get her out of my mind. And it's such a lousy way to end things. I mean, after everything... one stupid phone call."

"Then talk to her," Ruby said. "I mean, what if there was more going on than you know?"

Charlie nodded. She had to give Joey one more chance to save herself.

***

Joey was glad to be home alone. Roxy had been out at work all night and had informed her that she would be enjoying a long brunch with a girl she had been seeing. Joey hadn't minded in the slightest. She had spent most of her time cleaning the house and was now doing some sketching. She hoped that Roxy would be out of the house for as long as possible. As usual, her mind drifted to Charlie. She wondered what she was doing, what she was thinking about and if she was seeing anyone new. She hoped not. She knew she would live to regret not being with her every day for the rest of her life.

***

Charlie entered the Diner and spotted Roxy enjoying lunch and laughter with another woman. They were holding hands across the table. Roxy didn't notice her. Charlie studied them for a few moments and recalled both Ruby and Rachel's words of advice to her. Turning on her heel without ordering anything, Charlie ran all the way to Joey's house and banged hard on the door.

***

Startled out of her musings, Joey jumped up and opened her front door a crack and was stunned to see Charlie standing there looking deadly serious. She managed to say her name almost inaudibly. Charlie barged into the house without permission.

"What the hell happened last week?" Charlie asked.

Joey's lip trembled, not sure what to say. Seeing her face to face, she knew she couldn't lie. She didn't want to lie. But she wasn't sure it was safe to tell the truth so she just stared at her.

"Joey?" Charlie demanded. "What happened?"

"I..."  
"Last time you saw me, you wanted to be with me. What changed?" Charlie asked.

"Roxy..."

"What did she say?"

"She said..."

Joey walked round and sank down on the sofa. Charlie sat down beside her.

"Joey?" Charlie said more kindly, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"She said she'd hurt you if I left," Joey admitted.

Charlie sighed heavily, suddenly feeling very guilty for being prepared to give up on Joey when all this time Joey had only been trying to protect her.

"Joey, I can look after myself," Charlie assured her.

"You don't know what she's like," Joey sighed.

"Yes, I do. I've mopped up the blood," Charlie pointed out.

Joey dropped her head into her hands and Charlie hugged her tighter.

"I can take whatever she dishes out," Charlie promised. "You didn't need to try and protect me."

"I was just trying..."

Joey burst into tears.

"I know," Charlie said gently.

She lifted Joey's face and kissed her.

"Can we do this properly now?" she asked.

Joey nodded and kissed her back more passionately. She stood up in order to go and pack her things. Charlie reached out and grabbed her hand. Joey turned back to her.

"I love you," Charlie said.

Joey smiled.

"I love you too," she said.

They closed the gap between them. Charlie stroked Joey face tenderly, smiling into her features. She kissed her forehead, her cheek and her nose, before settling on her soft lips. Joey slipped her arms around Charlie's waist and clutched her close, loving the way they connected so perfectly. They kissed, letting their tongues explore each other. Joey let Charlie remove her t-shirt and unhook her bra before they slipped onto the floor of the living room. She expected some kind of reaction to the handful of scars displayed but Charlie only expressed wonder at her body as she kissed and caressed her. They made love on the floor, not caring that they could be caught at any moment and Joey had never felt so loved in all her life. It was Joey's most perfect moment in time.

***

Afterwards, lying in Charlie's arms she was sure she was in Heaven. Snuggled in Charlie's embrace, she never wanted to move. Silent tears trickled down her cheeks. Charlie looked into her eyes.

"I wasn't that bad, was I?" Charlie teased softly.

"That good, more like," Joey corrected, feeling embarrassed.

Charlie smiled and cuddled closer, trailing her index finger across Joey's skin.

"I just never knew I could ever feel this happy."

"Well, all I ever want to do with my life is make you feel happy," Charlie said.

"I think you're going to succeed," Joey replied. "Thank you for not giving up on me. I know I'm difficult."

"You're perfect."

Joey giggled.

"I guess we'd better be getting up," Charlie said reluctantly.

"Yeah. She'll be getting home around about..."

Joey looked at her watch.

"Now."

They slowly got to their feet and started looking for their clothes. Joey dressed quickly while Charlie stood in her shorts, looking around for the rest of her clothes.

"I had a bra..." she said, puzzled.

Joey looked around for it, feeling suddenly panicked about the time. The single worst thing that could happen right now would be for Roxy to walk in and find Charlie half naked in the living room. Picking up on Joey's panic, Charlie shrugged.

"I can live without it," she said and put her t-shirt on.

She pulled Joey into an embrace and kissed her deeply. Roxy pushed open the door just as they parted.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hello everyone – sorry for the delay in updating. This is the second to last chapter... enjoy!_

**Chapter Thirteen**

"So, do I even need to ask what's going on here?" Roxy asked.

Joey felt frozen to the spot. Her guilt was enormous. Roxy was cruel and harsh and she had cheated numerous times but cheating on Roxy was still a low blow. They shouldn't have done it, especially not in her own house, on her floor, in her living room. Joey knew they should have waited. She should have ended things with Roxy first and then they could have left together to live a happy life with their relationship tainted by nothing but a handful of kisses. She swallowed and glanced at Charlie who looked tense. Roxy ventured further into the room. She tossed her bags onto the couch.

"Oh, Charlie, I presume this is your bra," she said, flinging it at her.

Charlie caught it and stuffed it in her pocket, embarrassed and awkward. Roxy seemed so calm. Neither woman was sure what her next move was going to be.

"I guess you should be used to pity sex, Joey," Roxy said coldly, glaring at her partner.

Joey visibly deflated. Charlie reached for her hand.

"I give it to you often enough," Roxy added.

"It was nothing to do with pity," Charlie snapped.

"She's crap, isn't she?" Roxy asked.

Charlie felt Joey trembling beside her and couldn't believe that Roxy could be so callous. How could she sleep at night knowing that she treated another person that way, especially someone as special as Joey?

"She's incredible," Charlie said seriously. "You don't deserve her. You've never deserved her."

She turned to Joey and tugged her hand.

"Let's go."

The women headed past Roxy towards the door.

"You don't really think Joey's going to leave with you, do you?" Roxy asked.

They both turned back to face her, still holding hands.

"Look, I'm sorry, Roxy," Charlie said. "I know you have this whole possessive thing going on and I know on some warped level, you think you love her. But you treat her like shit. I'm the one who can treat her right. I'm the one who's going to. So for the first time in your life, you need to do the right thing and let her go."

"She's not going to leave with you," Roxy stated confidently.

Joey felt like she had lost her voice.

"Are you?"

Joey looked between both women, feeling both their eyes burning into her. Roxy was silently demanding for her to stay and Charlie was pleading with her to leave. Neither woman could bear for her to let them down.

"Joey?" Charlie managed.

She tugged on Joey's hand, trying to pull her towards the door.

"She's never going to love you like I love you," Roxy said.

"I'll love her better!" Charlie snapped.

"How do you think she's going to react when you wake her up screaming in the night because you've had a stupid nightmare about your Daddy?" Roxy asked. "What about when she realises that you're qualified for nothing and she's got to support you financially? What about when she figures out that what she just had, was all there is and you don't get better in bed? What's she going to do when you annoy the hell out of her because you're such a doormat? Do you really think things are going to get better for you, Joey? Do you think this bitch is going to put up with you any better than I am? She's not! No-one can! And you don't deserve them to. You're a waste of space, Joey. I've done everything I can with you. And I am the only one who can understand you, who can put up with you. You belong with me. We belong together. We always have. You know that."

Joey swallowed and let go of Charlie's hand.

"Stop messing around and thinking you can do better. I don't blame you, Joey. I know Charlie's promising you the earth but she can't give it to you," Roxy said. "You're not some Princess waiting to be rescued. You're a mess. That's all you'll ever be. I'll look after you as best I can. You know that's all I've ever done. Stay with me, Joey. You owe me that."

"You don't owe her anything," Charlie said quietly but quickly.

Joey turned briefly to look at Charlie, standing there, looking so beautiful with dishevelled hair and a serious face. She looked back at Roxy who was physically reaching out to her. What if Roxy was right? What if Charlie couldn't put up with her? She did have nightmares. She wasn't qualified. She probably wasn't very talented between the sheets. And she'd always been skilled at annoying Roxy so why not Charlie too? There were so many things that could go wrong. Roxy may not make her happy but at least she was there. If things went wrong with Charlie, what would happen then? She would be all by herself.

"So, what are you going to do?" Roxy asked.

"I…"

Charlie's heart sank. Joey had been so sure before and yet once again, she was wavering and considering staying in her old life.

"Joey!" she said desperately, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

She grabbed hold of her hands.

"Joey, please, let's get out of here," she begged.

"Charlie…" Joey said desperately, becoming slowly convinced that she had to stay. "You heard what she said."

"Yeah, I heard her spouting a bunch of crap!"

"You're not going to put up with me for long," Joey said weakly.

"This whole situation is messed up, Joey," Charlie snapped.

She turned to Roxy.

"You are messed up!"

She looked into Joey's eyes.

"This is not about 'putting up with you'. This is about loving you and everything you are. For goodness sake, Joey, you can have a nightmare every single night for the rest of our lives and the only thing I'd feel is sad about what you were going through. I'd stay up and hold you and make you feel safe enough to go back to sleep, not ridicule you for it. And quite frankly, I'd be shocked if you didn't suffer that way after everything you've been through."

Roxy listened, wondering exactly what Charlie knew about Joey's life and how much Joey had trusted her.

"And you've told me yourself that you're capable of working. You've told me what you want to do for a living."

"Boats will never bring in a heap of cash," Roxy pointed out sourly.

"I don't care!" Charlie snapped. "As long as she's happy. Do you understand the concept of putting Joey's happiness first?"

"I've spent the last five years putting her happiness first!" Roxy yelled, stepping forward.

"Was that before, after or during the beatings and the cheating?" Charlie yelled back, dropping Joey's hands and advancing towards Roxy.

Roxy raised an arm in fury.

"Try it," Charlie threatened. "Only one thing would make me happier than to arrest you for assault."

Roxy lowered her arm.

"See? You can control it. Shame you didn't when it came to Joey."

Roxy punched Charlie in the face. Joey was the one who cried out. Charlie didn't react to the pain. She tackled Roxy to the ground and held her arms behind her back.

"Don't arrest her!" Joey burst out.

Charlie looked up.

"Please?"

Roxy smiled into the carpet, feeling certain she had won. Joey came over and put a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"She's not worth the paperwork," Joey said. "Let's just go. We can just leave her, draw a line under everything and start again. I'm sorry I wavered. I'm sorry I got lost, Charlie. I just… I can't help thinking that I'm not good enough for you. But I do love you and I do want to be with you."

Charlie dropped Roxy's wrists and stood up, guiding Joey to her feet.

"Let's go before anything else happens," she said quietly, nudging them towards the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Joey felt shy when she and Charlie arrived back at Charlie's house. In their hurry, Joey had arrived only in the clothes she was wearing so Charlie had driven them to buy essentials, with a plan to go back to the house while Roxy was at work the following afternoon to collect the rest of her stuff. Now, perched on the edge of Charlie's bed, Joey wasn't quite sure what to do or say. She couldn't quite fathom that after all this time, she had left. She and Roxy were finally over and she and Charlie were finally together. Joey could hardly believe it. She watched Charlie fuss around, putting Joey's new pyjamas beneath her pillow, having allowed her to choose whichever side of the bed she wanted – the right side. She put some t-shirts in a drawer, having created space for Joey, wanting to turn her room into their room.

"Hey," Joey said softly. "Would you please come sit with me?"

Charlie paused her anxious movement. Joey had been so tense since they'd left Roxy that Charlie was trying desperately not to fly into a panic about her changing her mind. She looked at Joey and then relented, coming to sit down beside her. Joey reached out to hold her hand.

"I love you so much," Joey said softly.

Charlie felt relieved. She'd had a horrible feeling that Joey was about to walk away and tell her it had all been a horrible mistake.

"I love you too, Joey. I'm so happy you chose me today."

"Me too."

They gazed into each other's eyes and leant forward to kiss tenderly, just once.

"It's not going to be easy though," Joey said worriedly. "And I know everything you said back at the house but… I'm scared that you're going to regret being with me, Charlie. Roxy's not the nicest person on the planet."

Charlie scoffed at the understatement.

"But she is right. I am hard work. I will try so hard not to be but I know I am."

"Hey, I'm a cop," Charlie grinned. "Hard work is easy."

"I'm serious!"

"So am I. Look, Joey, you've never lied to me about your history. I know you've got a lot of healing to do. And I know a lot of it; you need to do by yourself. You need to become strong. You need to learn to love yourself."

"Not possible."

"Like yourself?"

"I could try."

Charlie kissed her and smiled.

"But all the while you're on this journey; I'm going to be right here supporting you. And I honestly don't care how much hard work it is. I'm in this for the long-term, I promise you," she said.

"The nightmares?" Joey asked.

"I'll hold you."

"The panic attacks?"

"I'll help you breathe."

"The unemployment?"

"I write a damn good resume."

"The insecurity?"

"I'll shower you with compliments and comfort."

"Not picking my socks up?"

"I'll do it for you."

"My inability to iron properly?"

"I can iron just fine."

"Leaving my drawings in really random places?"

"I'll be proud of you and put them on display!"

Joey laughed.

"I think those are most of my bad habits," she said evenly.

"And look, my head didn't explode."

"Well, we've only talked about them," Joey pointed out.

Charlie hugged her close.

"I know this isn't going to be me and you skipping off into the sunset, leaving our cares behind. I know there's a lot to work through. But we'll work through it together because we love each other," Charlie said. "And the most important thing in the world is that you're with someone who will lift you up instead of bringing you down. And I really want to spend my life lifting you up, Joey. I want to make you happy."

"You do."

They kissed again and Joey wrapped her arms around Charlie's neck. She lay Charlie back on the bed and trailed her kisses down her neck and fumbled with her top button. Suddenly she froze.

"And I can get better," she said. "You know… in… in bed. What Roxy said… I know it's true but… but if you just tell me what you want, I can try and…"

Charlie placed her index finger on Joey's busy lips to quieten her.

"Joey, don't you know by now that Roxy doesn't know a good thing when it's right it front of her? Let alone an amazing thing! I don't know what she wants in that department but for me, with you, I've got everything I've ever wanted and more."

Joey was surprised by the fact that she actually believed her. She physically relaxed in Charlie's arms and kissed her. She let her hands find Charlie's buttons again and began her downward descent.

***

Lying in bed that night, Joey had opted to ignore her new pyjamas and was safely nestled in the crook of Charlie's arm. She rested her head on Charlie's shoulder and listened to her rhythmic breathing.

"So, this is the first day of our new life," she said dreamily.

"Yep," Charlie agreed, just as softly.

She turned her head to look down at Joey, kissing her forehead.

"So, Miss Collins, what are you going to do with your future?"

"Well, I'm going to be the best and most loving girlfriend ever to a wonderful woman who deserves everything I have to give and more," Joey said with a giggle.

"Your girlfriend's lucky!" Charlie said. "What else are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get a job on a boat because that's what I have always wanted to do. And I'm going to ask my girlfriend to help me get to know people and make friends because I haven't really had mates for a long, long time."

"Friendships, check," Charlie said with a nod of her head.

"And I think maybe I need to find a psychotherapist to help me work through some stuff in a safe space. Do you think that would be okay?"

"I think that would be really important."

"It's just Roxy never wanted me to see…"

Joey stopped talking and sighed.

"Just one of the behaviours I need to unlearn," she realised.

"You'll get there," Charlie said confidently, hugging her close. "I believe in you."

THE END

***

_Well, that's the end of this story and thank you all so much for your wonderful and encouraging comments. I have taken them all to heart. I am deeply considering writing a sequel to see how Charlie and Joey function as couple after all the trauma they have been through but was wondering what you all thought – as you guys are the ones reading it! Do you think it's a case of "if it ain't broke (so to speak!) don't fix it' or is there are story worth developing here? Inclusion of this if you choose to review would be really welcome as it would sway me as to whether to write a second story or not. But I promise I won't be offended if the common consensus is to leave it here – I have plenty of other CJ fanfic ideas to keep us amused while we wait for Joey's trawler to come back to the Bay! Thanks again everyone for reading and reviewing. I truly do appreciate it._


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